Reserved for.........

Hello there! I was on holiday (I love to say that) but now I'm back. On to today's post!! So I take a little trip to the mall today during lunch with one of my co-workers/friends. There is literally NO parking - except this one spot marked "Reserved For Expectant Mothers". So I say to this friend - let's call her Marilyn - f**k it, let's just park there! I mean - what, are they gonna give me a pregnancy test in the parking lot? Like - how are they gonna prove that I'm not pregnant? Plus - I have holiday treats in my belly that could easily pass for a 16 week fetus. I'm just saying. But of course being the goody two shoes that she is, she says no.

But that got me to thinking - why do these hoes get all the perks? I mean - I have my very own mojitito so once upon a time I was an expectant mother, but why should that justify an up close and personal parking spot to Macy's?

Let's just think about this. An expectant mother has already gotten quite a few perks missing from my life. Greedy broads.

They've had or are getting:
- sex
- a date (hopefully before the sex)
- a cute little baby
- an excuse to eat massive amounts of food with no one saying things like "mojito, you're not going to eat all that, are you? the calories, blah blah blah"

So if you really think about it, they have enough. They don't need a parking spot. Hell - they need to do what my mom told me and walk that baby ou-ou-out (Andre 3000).

What I want to know is where the parking spot is for the 30-ish year old, single woman who can't find a date in this city of metrosexuals and BANs (bi*** a** negroes), who works hard all day and then some, who just wants to come to the mall on her lunch break and spend up a little money in this recession. Where's HER parking spot?

Where's the parking spot for the girl who puts on stilettos every day to bring a little bit of sexy to the world around her, bringing joy to men and boys of all ages, but not so much to her baby toe? Where's MY parking spot?

(I'm not even going to start in about how the Burbank mall has reserved parking for families!! Wait - so now we're giving special treatment to the people who bring those crying and badly behaved kids to the mall - the ones that ruin my shopping experience - we're giving them PARKING?)

Think YOU deserve a special reserved parking spot? Hit the comments section and let us know why.

Also - I'm in desperate need of advice questions so please email me at dearmojito@gmail.com.

XOXO

Mojito