Fucking Thelma..........

So, the other night as I was looking for something to watch until I fell asleep, I saw Thelma & Louise was on. I loved loved loved that movie when it came out. Hell, I even named my breasts after it. {The left one is Thelma & the right one is Louise} But watching it 20 years later, I saw it differently. I spent most of the time thinking.......fucking Thelma. Ugh. I hate her.

We all have a Thelma in our lives. Or - maybe some of y'all don't. In which case, I am very jealous of you. But I have known plenty of Thelmas in my day. Or maybe you ARE Thelma. Don't know? Don't worry. I'm here to help.

You might be a Thelma if:

• You drink a lot. I mean a LOT. Like you can NEVER be the designated driver. Like your friends frequently have to carry you out of the club.

• You have terrible taste in men. And I’m not talking about the bad taste that we all sometimes have. I’m talking about your latest bf is a convict, drug lord, rapist or Charlie Sheen. Like a bad boy on a hunnid million trillion. No bueno. No bueno at all.

• You are easily “overwhelmed”. See – the part in the movie that made me say “oh fuck Thelma” is this. She got them in all this dayum trouble cause she’s a drunk ass. Then Louise is tryna figure the shit out and do you know what Thelma is doing? Wait for it…………wait for it………sleeping!! This bitch is the reason they’re on the run from the law & she has the nerve to be taking a nap?! Girl, if you don’t wake your ass up. And I mean RAT NOW!!

Basically, a Thelma is a person who always makes messes, whether intentionally or unintentionally, that other people (usually your friends) have to clean up. If you have a Thelma in your life, you need to cut that hoe off. Or at least refuse to play the Louise role in her life. If you ARE Thelma, you need to get right & stop this bullshit. Immediately. This is not going to end well for y’all.

I’m telling you right now……..Mojito ain’t going off a cliff for nunna you hoes. Believe that.

Any of y’all have a Thelma in your life? Are y’all Thelma? Have you played the Louise role in a friendship? What inspired you to change? Any other thoughts on this topic? Let Mojito know.

XOXO

Mojito