So that got me thinking - how can I repay these lovely people for the joy they brought me on this fine thanksgiving?
So I've come up with an idea. Can there be a holiday dedicated to the things that really and truly suck? Like a WTF Day? And you could still eat a big feast, but then you'd also get to go over all the things that happened or didn't happen for the year that really just suck ass. And if you wanted - you could invite family over - especially if they're on the list - just to bring them joy and happiness.
So let's list some of things this year that we're not so thankful for - I'll even go first.
Mojito's 2008 WTF/this is some B.S. list:
- how come I didn't get Beyonce's thighs? I did some squats!! this is total BS.
- what happened to my engagement/wedding?
- how did I end up in the ER twice?
- wait.............this is a raise? really?
- rogaine & rutgers (don't ask)
- boyfriends with secret kids
Your turn - please post comments with your 2008 WTF/this is some BS lists! Please! Please. If I don't get some comments it's going to start affecting my self esteem.
XOXO
Mojito
10 comments:
My 2008 WTFs...
Fundamentally fake and ungrateful. Me. Really.
I'm sorry, let me be clear, you're asking if my name is on the list for the party I threw. Really.
Oh wait, Boy Non-Wonder, were you attempting to check me? Really.
And while I'm at it, Tran Ho (and I'm not referring to my manicurist), you wanna rumble with the B? Really.
I'ma end this with a note to all those referenced above....GET AT ME!
12 Months and not one date. NOT ONE!?!?! Compounded by hours and hours of listening to the "dying one" wax poetic on her constant sexcapades whilst flipping back to whining and questioning me as to the whereabouts of "the one" for her. Shut up.
6 weeks in the shop, $5700 and my check engine light's still on?
-adult acne
-why wasnt i informed pre-check this was a dutch date
-so in la i come second to anorexic snow bunnies and mulattoes...
-so thats how much i have to pay since i dont have health insurance
-$800 for YOUR parking tickets on MY car.. ok
-the patron got the best of me that night
-the goose got the best of me that night (these last two account for about ten WTFs)
- Forced to spend the summer surrounded by ex-boyfriend and bitch of a gf.
- My metabolism stopped working. Doctor said, "it has hit a plateua"
- Discovered LA has serioues scarcity of normal people to befriend.
- Boyfriend got lost in desert for four days. This is especially a WTF!
-Really? You "forgot" to tell me you already have a girlfriend? AND a kid?!?!?!
-Really? You want me to get YOUR number after I did NOT ask you for it?!?!
-I really need people who have had SEVERAL children (ie Hiedi Klum, Britney Spears, Toni Braxton and that damn small a$$-Kelly Ripa) to have better bodies than my non-never-been-preggers-not-a-day-in-my-gotdamn-life self! That's just WRONG!
Melmass's WTF's...
* why do i have a small child living on my back?
* It's not enough that I'm almost 40, but why do i gain weight just by THINKING about it now?
* My fiance, who is 10 years younger, is back to his college weight :-/
* My son discovered girls and hormones, and he's 11 :-(
* DAMN!.......Credit Scores can go that low?
* $500 for Brakes? Really!
* LA income taxes are how much!
* If that’s ALL your real hair why do you like Florida Evans around your edges and Pocahontas down your back?
* Damn....no more Jack Daniels?
* Why do I keep getting stuck behind old a$$ people with no where to go when I’m late for work?
* Seriously, my car won't start......again.
* Why do I keep getting stuck at stop lights with Bentleys, BMWs, Mercedes and Range Rovers?
*YEAHH its PAY DAY.....wait, damn I’m still broke.
I’m stopping now because I got 365 WTFs.....one for everyday!
For teh record, the small child on my back i was referring to is NOT Mikey! ( or Q)
Oh yeah, and I can't spell :-(
T. Mills' WTF's
-When did I become the side hoe?
-So you just gone put it on a bitch and leave like that?
-Im sorry, you called my mama a what?
-So I work my ass off and cant get a return phone call huh?
-wow, no work for three months. dayum?
-did this white mutha f*cka just walk into the club with black face?
-no, im not in love with you. why are you surprised?
-when did my booty get dimples?
-No unemployment check this month, WTF?!?!?!?!
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