Stop Frontin'

So, I have this acquantance. For the purposes of this blog let's call her Michelle. SO Michelle is one of those chicks that wants to appear to be a "good girl" but still act like a...............I started to say bad girl, but that's the thing. It's not even like she's acting all that bad. Her actions are not inherently hoe-ish. I mean, we're grown. So it's perfectly normal and acceptable for a woman to have a healthy sexual appetite and sex life. So why does this chick feel the need to lie about her actions just to keep up some sort of image. And truth be told, nobody is even buying that innocent act in the first damn place so she might as well keep it all the way real.

And on that topic – am I the only one who doesn’t buy or care that Mariah Carey is always claiming to be able to count the number of men she’s been with on one hand? I think the entire topic is tacky to being with. BUT – if you’re gonna talk about your sex life – keep it all the way real, please! If not, then just shut the hell up!! Mojito ain’t saying shi* about my sex life cause it falls under the category of NYDB - nunna’ yo’ damn bidness. But what you will NOT catch Mojito doing is talking at length about the great miraculous conception that resulted in the birth of Mojitito (my little one). I mean, really!!

For real, for real – I find make believe conversations to be a waste of my precious life minutes. I can’t NEVER get them minutes back – they don’t roll over, they can’t be put on layaway, nothing!! Just gone!! And she done wasted a shi*load of my life minutes telling me fairytales about dude A “just kissed me out of nowhere” or how all she remembers is waking up naked or that when she finally “came to” she was “on top of him” but didn’t know how she got there and she “doesn’t know how” they ended up giving sex, etc……..

In my experience – and I could be mistaken – kissing is a two person activity. Particularly the French variety. Therefore, no one “just kissed” you without you kissing them back. And any time you wake up in a strange place, nekkid, “diddled” and all without your consent – you need to call the authorities. And by authorities I mean the po-po, your local sexual assault hotline or at the very least cousin Ray Ray and ‘nem. And I don’t think I need to tell y’all she ain’t called nary one of the above referenced. In fact, she’s gone on 2nd & 3rd dates with these perps. (yeah, that’s right – perps!! That’s what they call them on Law & Order, right?)

And see – that’s that bull**it! So ladies, please, please, please!! I beseech thee. I implore thee – STOP THE BULLSHI*!!!!!

It’s okay. Really. It is 2009. it’s okay that you went out with a guy, had a good time and decided to let him get to 1st, 2nd, 3rd base. Hell – it’s okay if you decided to let him hit a home run – it’s your own dayum bidness and it is not a crime! Matter of fact – you taking alllll the fun out of the story with yo’ dayum lies!! Cause I’d much rather hear the story of how he came through and knocked it out the park or even if he came through and provided you with a sweaty, awkward and not-so-fulfilling 3 1/2 minutes – cause that could be amusing as well!! But gotdayummit ladies, for corn’s sake, for the love of pete……………………………stop frontin’!!!! Immediately!!

Now then – your turn:
- Ladies – have you ever lied about your “dealings” with a dude? I’m not talking about covering yo a** during an interrogation. I’m talking about an unsolicited lie! If so – why? (I really am curious). If not, do you know one of these frontin’/lyin’ chicks?

- Gentleman – do you know any chicks that do this? Or wait – do guys get involved with this foolishness? Why?

Hit up the comments section with your replies!!

XOXO

Mojito

A BWK on Not Dating NWKs

As promised - I'm going to address illfareal's foolish comment from the other post. Although - he could stick to the topic at hand and refrain from hijacking my comments to talk about unrelated foolishness. (It's okay - he's family - they do what they want.)

Now then - illfareal wants to know why so many BWKs (bi***es with kids - his words not mine) won't date NWKs (negroes with kids). As one of these women, allow me to explain.

It's a simple answer, easily summed up in two short but powerful words: baby mommas.

NWKs come with baby mommas. (Well - most do, there are a few exceptions). And mojito is emphatically uninterested in dealing with baby mommas. I know you're thinking - but mojito, ain't you a baby momma? No sir. The coconut rum in my mojitito has been long gone so it's just me all me. No baby daddy = no baby daddy drama. I'm a momma, not a baby momma.

Anyway - that is the main reason for BWKs not dealing with NWKs, the BMs. Yes- BM, like bowel movement. You know why? Cause dealing with them can be downright shi**y. Now don't get me wrong - there are quite a few BMs who don't act up. And usually if a BM is acting up - it's because the BD has done something or has done nothing. And by nothing I mean - no child support, no visits, no involvement with the child, etc......... And so - rightfully so, BM is pissed and has no choice but to act up. I don't fault those BMs. I don't want to deal with them - but I don't fault them.

But there is another type of BM and this is the type that make me say no, no, no and no to NWKs. I'm talking about BM that still wants to be the girl/wife and can't let go of the past so she acts up:
- won't let the BD see the kids
- constantly engaging BD in needless convos (just to have a reason to talk to him)
- drops kids off at the wrong and most inopportune times
- calls BD at 3:00 a.m. while BD is happily snuggled up with mojito, talking 'bout "the baby is throwing up............". {sorry - flashbacks!! Side note - uh.........what kind of mommy are you that you don't know what to do when a baby throws up? what the hell is BD gonna do? Last I checked he wasn't a pediatrician}

Sorry - back on track now. So there you have it illfareal - an explanation for BWKs who don't date NWKs. Feel free to comment - I'd love any insight you or anyone else can offer. And ladies - please comment with your experience dating NWKs. (Maybe your experiences will change my mind!)

In the meantime - I have something to say to the NWKs.

If your baby momma is -
- married to another man (or woman) and blissfully happy
- dead
- in jail
- in Siberia or some other far away place with no intention of returning

if you meet any of those conditions and you're cute, single and your kids are well-behaved........holla at mojito!!! :)

As always - I can be reached at dearmojito@gmail.com

XOXO

Mojito