Stop Frontin'

So, I have this acquantance. For the purposes of this blog let's call her Michelle. SO Michelle is one of those chicks that wants to appear to be a "good girl" but still act like a...............I started to say bad girl, but that's the thing. It's not even like she's acting all that bad. Her actions are not inherently hoe-ish. I mean, we're grown. So it's perfectly normal and acceptable for a woman to have a healthy sexual appetite and sex life. So why does this chick feel the need to lie about her actions just to keep up some sort of image. And truth be told, nobody is even buying that innocent act in the first damn place so she might as well keep it all the way real.

And on that topic – am I the only one who doesn’t buy or care that Mariah Carey is always claiming to be able to count the number of men she’s been with on one hand? I think the entire topic is tacky to being with. BUT – if you’re gonna talk about your sex life – keep it all the way real, please! If not, then just shut the hell up!! Mojito ain’t saying shi* about my sex life cause it falls under the category of NYDB - nunna’ yo’ damn bidness. But what you will NOT catch Mojito doing is talking at length about the great miraculous conception that resulted in the birth of Mojitito (my little one). I mean, really!!

For real, for real – I find make believe conversations to be a waste of my precious life minutes. I can’t NEVER get them minutes back – they don’t roll over, they can’t be put on layaway, nothing!! Just gone!! And she done wasted a shi*load of my life minutes telling me fairytales about dude A “just kissed me out of nowhere” or how all she remembers is waking up naked or that when she finally “came to” she was “on top of him” but didn’t know how she got there and she “doesn’t know how” they ended up giving sex, etc……..

In my experience – and I could be mistaken – kissing is a two person activity. Particularly the French variety. Therefore, no one “just kissed” you without you kissing them back. And any time you wake up in a strange place, nekkid, “diddled” and all without your consent – you need to call the authorities. And by authorities I mean the po-po, your local sexual assault hotline or at the very least cousin Ray Ray and ‘nem. And I don’t think I need to tell y’all she ain’t called nary one of the above referenced. In fact, she’s gone on 2nd & 3rd dates with these perps. (yeah, that’s right – perps!! That’s what they call them on Law & Order, right?)

And see – that’s that bull**it! So ladies, please, please, please!! I beseech thee. I implore thee – STOP THE BULLSHI*!!!!!

It’s okay. Really. It is 2009. it’s okay that you went out with a guy, had a good time and decided to let him get to 1st, 2nd, 3rd base. Hell – it’s okay if you decided to let him hit a home run – it’s your own dayum bidness and it is not a crime! Matter of fact – you taking alllll the fun out of the story with yo’ dayum lies!! Cause I’d much rather hear the story of how he came through and knocked it out the park or even if he came through and provided you with a sweaty, awkward and not-so-fulfilling 3 1/2 minutes – cause that could be amusing as well!! But gotdayummit ladies, for corn’s sake, for the love of pete……………………………stop frontin’!!!! Immediately!!

Now then – your turn:
- Ladies – have you ever lied about your “dealings” with a dude? I’m not talking about covering yo a** during an interrogation. I’m talking about an unsolicited lie! If so – why? (I really am curious). If not, do you know one of these frontin’/lyin’ chicks?

- Gentleman – do you know any chicks that do this? Or wait – do guys get involved with this foolishness? Why?

Hit up the comments section with your replies!!

XOXO

Mojito